In the "short" run

I knew I was in over my head, but I like challenges. It had been months since I had been truly dedicated to any legitimate workout regime, particularly running. I am a sprinter who lately sprints to the pantry for potatoe chips to eat in bed at night.  I run when want and sleep cause I can. I am not the spokesperson for Acsics; but again, I do like a challenge.

At best and about twice to three times weekly, my workout (mainly power-walking four miles at the Bontia trail) includes walking the straightways and sprinting up the steep hills just because I am too lazy to walk them. My workout partners (two colleagues) for today are distance runners.  Dedicated, goal-driven, regimented, training-for-marathons, point-earning distant runners who are, mostly, in condition.

So, the night of our arrival in Natchez for our two-day conference, we would confer on the time of our morning run (6:30 am); decide on our post-run breakfast time and venue (7:30 am Natchez Grand) and decide our route (about 4 miles to the Lousiana stateline and back).  A short run, they say.

Really.

This is a "short" run.

At the 9.5-minute mile pace and .7 miles into the short run, I had had enough.  So, I let my well-trained friends continue to run their way while I would finish my way and try not to die...Now, here is my list of the top ten things a sprinter sees in a distant runner's "short" run:

10. The backs of the distance runners.

09. Every crack in the sidewalk.

08. Every letter of every sign on the route.

07. Molehills which become mountains.

06. Hills that become great mountain peaks.

05. Dialogue bubbles full of profane symbols like:  #@*#!

04. Ants outrunning you on the route.

03. Road kill taking its last breath.

02. Grass growing.

01. No fricking humor in anything!

"Do you run at all?" was the question asked by one of distance runners when I jogged into our destination point ten minutes behind them.  (PLEASE SEE #1 FROM THE AFOREMENTIONED LIST).  Done.  Four miles.  Forty minutes with both them and me giving it the best that we've got...